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Oct

2009

This week has been fantastic! And I have all of you to thank… Thank you for your comments (they are honestly the highlight of my day, especially as I’m starting this new adventure) and for your orders (my customers rock!). I am truly luckiest gal I know…

Now, on to the orders of the day!

1. Do you have your Incogneato yet? All of these cool kids do… JustKat, Little Bit Funky, Big Glasses. And, if that’s not enough incentive, it’s free! Just send me a quick email with your address and viola! a master disguise (purse-size) will find its way to your mailbox…

2. Would you mind taking a sec to vote for me? So, I entered a couple of my greeting cards into this competition and really, really, really want to make it into the next round. Just click here to vote. And thank you!

3. I keep forgetting to tell you when my Chat, Chew and Chocolate is updated… It’s updated! I take you through some tips on shopping discount stores, tell you how to look old fast, and then (as if that wasn’t traumatizing enough) give you another way to look old.

4. And, I spent some time today organizing all of the Fun Project categories (look in the right hand column and click on “Fun Project”), in case you decide you want to play along. Although after today’s post, I’m thinking that’s probably not very likely…

Have a fabulous weekend!

Oct

2009

Yesterday I mentioned to LB that my Fun Event was going to be watching Thursday night TV, which I thought was very well-deserved since between moving, working, attempting to walk and having all of this fun, things have been a bit hectic. And, since two of the four shows feature women in a lead role, I argued, I’m also fulfilling a civic responsibility, while exemplifying, once again, that women can multi-task the crap out of just about anything. LB looked me in the eye, said “Lame”, and went to get our dinner.

Fine, my plan was a little lame. But you know what is not lame? My adoration for Joel McHale. I know, I know. The first thought that pops into all of your minds is “But, what about G.Love?” And readers, I have given this many, many hours of thoughtful contemplation and have come to the conclusion that there is room enough in my heart for both G. and Joel with a little left over for Becks, if he’s so inclined.

And what better way to convey my adoration than by trying to plant one on Joel every time he came on screen? I figured I’d pucker up a couple of times, LB would return with dinner and we’d settle in for a quiet evening with our stories. Except, turns out it’s not quite that easy…

The photo log presented here documents one woman’s descent into Crazy Town and should not be viewed by: ex-boyfriends, future employers, small children, Joel McHale, G. Love (or Special Sauce for that matter), people who suffer from heart conditions, anyone over the age of 25 or anyone under the age of 30.

A couple of noteworthy details:

-These are the photos where I look least crazy. If you can imagine. Please don’t.

-LB walked in in the middle of it all. He looked at me. He looked at Joel. He put his hand out for the camera.

-From here on out, you never again have to worry about taking a bad picture because I can guarantee I will have posted one on the Internet that is worse. It’s my gift to you. Go forth and grimace.

Oct

2009

LB and I live about one block back from the water and for a gal who grew up in landlocked Colorado, it’s been spectacular. Standing on our balcony we’ve watched: seals, pelicans, sea gulls, tourists screaming on the Rocket boat, very large cargo barges, yachts (including one whose classical music was turned up so loud we kept going downstairs because we were convinced there had to be a concert somewhere nearby, not realizing it was coming instead from their rockin’ party yacht), a cruise ship, and once, a car on fire (well, that was on the Bay Bridge but we could see the actual flames so I’m counting it).

And, if you venture off the balcony, it gets even better. At the local dock you can sometimes see the seals up close and personal as they swim by, off to entertain the folks at Fisherman’s Wharf. The only problem for me is that they make their pilgrimage early. Very early. Like in the 6’s early. And I do many things fairly well; getting up early is not one of them. Ask anyone who has ever lived with me. In fact, comments are open – friends and family, feel free to reminisce among yourselves.

But, I did it. I got up as the sun was rising (you’d have thought my head was on backwards, my poor husband was so confused) and went down to the dock to witness Nature in All Its Glory.

Unfortunately, nature never showed up. No, the seals decided to take the day off or go a different route or maybe hold their collective breath as they went under the dock, because I never saw them. I did see something out in the distance that looked “seal-esque” but a friendly fisherman informed me it was only a bird. So helpful those friendly fishermen.

So, I did get up but I didn’t see the seals. Which begs the question: If your Fun Project event is to see the seals and there are no seals to see, is it still a Fun Project event? I’m thinking…yes?

Oct

2009

So yesterday was OOC (out-of-control for all of you that are not stuck in the early 2000s) and I didn’t have time to post. I still, very responsibly, did my Fun Thing though so I am going to do – wait for it – TWO POSTS today. In one day. I know, I had to lie down, as well.

One of the things I’ve been dying to do before we head back to Denver is a walking tour. And yes, I realize “dying to do” and “walking tour” aren’t typically found in the same sentence but then most people aren’t as all out cRaZy as I am, are they?

Now for those of you who have never taken a walking tour, let me sum them up for you. THEY ROCK. They fill you up with the kind of information you will actually remember. The kind of information that will make you a hit at cocktail parties. For example…

Non-walking tour tidbit:
The City of Edinburgh Council is one of Scotland’s 32 local government council areas.
Snore.

Walking Tour tidbit:
When they buried people in Edinburgh after the Black Plague they would tie a string around the “dead” person’s finger that was connected to a bell above ground. That way if the person was only in a coma and suddenly woke up, they could notify the graveyard staff. Can you imagine working the graveyard shift? “Oh, can’t talk, Ma. Just heard a bell; gotta go unbury someone.”
Tah-dah! Buy this gal another round!

So, I headed over to the Palace Hotel Walking Tour, which is given by San Francisco Walking Tours, and often led by Richard here, who is so knowledgeable that he literally wrote the book on the Palace Hotel. Literally. Like, you can buy it in the gift shop.

Which is the other thing I should mention about walking tours – they are always led by interesting, knowledgeable people who often donate their time just so you look smarter and be more popular. That is called giving, people.

So, I don’t want to ruin all of the interesting bits about the tour, just in case you’re planning on going (which you totally should because it rocks) but here are two tantalizing tidbits.

First, this is a very famous painting (can’t remember its name) by a painter (whose name escapes me) that sits in the bar of the Palace Hotel, and, here’s the good part, features all of the members of the painter’s family. And I do mean all.

(Please note: Richard gave us all of the facts; unfortunately, like sands through an hour glass so is my brain.)

Secondly, President Warren Harding died at the Palace Hotel and while wikipedia claims it was most likely a stroke or heart attack, we know better. There were some very suspicious circumstances surrounding his death and Palace (Hotel) insiders believe his wife did him in. See? Walking tours make you smarter than the Internet.

Like I said, they rock.

Oct

2009

Oh Em Gee. Did you know that your computer can talk? Well, not on its own. At least, I don’t think it can talk on its own. Oh crap, I hope it can’t talk on its own! Because from what I know of computers that can talk on their own and have minds of their own, they are bent on our destruction, which is not what I’m looking for in my PC. HAL, that mean Sigourney Weaver computer in “Wall-E”, the Kevin Spacey one in “Moon”, which I haven’t seen but I’m thinking if Kevin Spacey is living in your computer, you are about to be mentally destroyed because the man is an evil genius… Oh, except for Rosie on the Jetsons. She wasn’t mean and she did all of the cleaning up, an excellent trait in a computer. Except, I just realized she was a robot. Okay. So if your computer starts saying things to you that you didn’t program it to say, run. Well, first take it to nice people at the Mac store and see if you can trade it in for a different model and if they say “no”, then run.

Dear me, where was I? Yes. Did you know that you can make your computer talk? And did you know that NFL games are infinitely more interesting when accompanied by computer-generated commentary?

“Do these brown pants make my butt look fat?”

“I just made me a touchdown. San Diego, tonight, you are on KP duty.”

“I would just like to say boo-ya, in your face. That was an early Halloween joke.”

Updated: So in rereading my commentary I just realized they sound so very, very lame when not done in a computer-generated voice. I apologize.

Updated 2: I was just informed that they are also lame when done in a computer-generated voice.

Updated 3: I was also just informed that there was an entire “Office” episode dedicated to this so there is absolutely NO POINT to this post so please stop reading immediately.

Updated 4: LB’s computer won’t stop saying “boobs”, which I’m going to go ahead and blame on a computer hostage takeover so if I’m dead tomorrow you know why.

Updated 5: Just been informed that “boobs” was also used on the “Office” so LB’s computer can’t even come up with an original idea and all I can say is THANK GOD IT’S 5:00 AND QUITTING TIME.