The first thing to do is make the cake (German Chocolate variety, please) according to the directions on the box. You’ll then want to spread half of the mixture around the bottom of a 9 x 13″ pan. I don’t actually have one and it won’t fit in my Baby Oven (a technical term) so I’m going to use a pie plate pan (again, technical usage is preferable). It should look like this only in the bottom of your bigger pan. Bake that sucker for 15 minutes at 350 degrees (whoops – you were supposed to have heated up your oven to 350 so do that, only earlier).

While that’s baking you’ll want to mix on your stove top (in a pan, silly) the caramels, butter and condensed milk and let them all melt together over low heat. Now, sometimes, it takes a really long time to get all of those damn caramels out of their wrappers so if you have to cheat and put it on high just to get the thing done before the cake’s done baking, well, we don’t judge here in Kara’s Kitchen, ha, ha!

Pull your cake out of the oven and notice that even though you thought there wasn’t that much batter in the pan, it seems to have expanded above what you thought possible. Ha, ha! Pour caramel mixture over cake until it dangerously teeters on the edge of overflowing. Briefly think, “I wonder if this is going boil over when I put it back in the oven?” Instead, place a cup of chocolate chips on top of caramel. Briefly toy with idea of trying to jam cake down to fit other cake batter over it. Laugh at stupidity of that idea. Put pan back in oven.

Register surprise when caramel and chocolate chips begin to overflow out of pan and drip down sides of pan. Pretend it will magically right itself and go back to reading Twitter updates. Laugh hard at wittiness of LittleGirlBigGlasses. Sneak a peek at cake and notice the volcanic eruption continues.

Remove cake from oven using bath towel after realizing all clean towels are in the wash and no longer own an oven mitt. Decide cake will look less “worn” if excess caramel/chocolate matter is scraped onto top. Scrape onto top.

Enjoy. Serves 1 husband who really, really loves you.

For the full recipe minus commentary, click here.

1 box German Chocolate Cake Mix
14 oz. bag of caramels
1/2 cup margarine
1/2 cup evaporated milk
2 cups nuts (optional)
1 cup chocolate chips

Prepare cake mix according to directions–use high altitude corrections.
Pour 1/2 of batter in 9 x 13 pan and bake 350 for 15 minutes.
Melt caramels, margarine, milk over low heat. Watch and stir so it doesn’t burn.
Pour caramel mixture over baked cake. Sprinkle with 1 cup nuts and chocolate chips.
Pour rest of batter over cake and sprinkle with 1 cup nuts.
Bake 350 20-25 minutes.