I walked into a coffee shop and there you all were

fabulista — Wed, 30 Sep 2009 02:18:32 +0000

You know how sometimes you run into a friend at a coffee shop and you totally meant to call her (you really did!) but then life got all busy and you forgot and now you’re standing there in front of her and you’re genuinely excited to see her but at the same time kind of embarrassed that you said you’d call but you never did and you know that if you can just get over the awkward first few minutes then everything will go back to normal and you’ll be great friends and this time actually remember to call?

That is how I’m feeling about you, my little babushkas. I totally meant to call…

All right, already! I know I’m a lame-o!

fabulista — Thu, 30 Jul 2009 00:03:55 +0000

Two videos in one week – I get it, super lame. But, would you rather I finally finish my websites (a task, at this point, on par with actually inventing the Internet) or keep you mildly distracted and entertained? Cheeky monkeys.

Well, you’re going to have to survive one more day. Plus, this video is AWESOME – librarians competing for the coveted “Golden Book Cart” with carts (I swear I’m not making this up) “built for this rigorous type of competition.” Makes me love librarians even more, if that’s possible.

I get to be the lady who runs around in circles.

Okay, so I don’t think I can actually embed it here so you’re going to have to click here to get to it. Geesh! Talk about making you work for your fun…

This post is about… I think it’s about… damn, can’t remember

fabulista — Mon, 27 Apr 2009 23:02:09 +0000

I have always had a horrible memory. It’s the type of thing where people are forever saying, “Remember that time we went to the Renaissance Fair and that guy in the Pac Man mask held us up at gun point but you got us out of it by pretending to have a fainting spell which gave the javelin thrower time to stick him with a turkey leg?” And I’m all, “They make Pac Man masks? How does that work? Because his face is actually his whole body so maybe you mean it’s more like a Pac Man suit?” And then the other people get frustrated because I have no idea what they’re referring to, even though apparently I’m a hero, dammit, and walk away.

This lack of memory is never more apparent than when people want to talk to me about places I’ve “visited.”

Soon to be traveler: We’re heading off to Ireland next week. I heard that you’ve been there numerous times and have at times even stayed for weeks at a time.

Me (with supreme confidence): Why yes I have!

STBT: Do you have any recommendations? We’ll be starting in Dublin and then going around the coast. Any towns you really liked?

Me: Well, I did quite a stint in Dublin, I must say. I’d recommend going to the… pubs. And shops. Lots and lots of pubs and shops. And, there are lots of really nice towns along the coast….

STBT: Cork, Galway…

Me: Yep, been to both. Actually I was in Galway for several weeks and I’d say hit the… pubs that are there on the main street and the shops.

And on it goes… The obvious side effect of this is that people think 1) I’m incredibly stupid. 2) I’m lying and have never actually left my house. 3) I’ve been abducted by aliens and they did a piss poor job prepping my replacement. (Part of this may be due to the fact that whenever I travel anywhere I am extremely focused on… shopping and pubs.)

The only place where my brain remembers EVERYTHING is when it comes to things that happen to people. I mean it. I remember EVERYTHING. I have to keep capitalizing EVERYTHING because I really want you to understand just how full my brain is in regards to other people’s stories.

For example, the above conversation in reality went more like this…

Soon to be traveler: We’re heading off to Ireland…blah, blah, blah.

Me: (with supreme confidence): Why yes I have!

STBT: Do you have any recommendations… blah, blah…

Me: Well, I did quite a stint in Dublin, I must say.. blah.

STBT: Cork, Galway…

Me: Yep, been to both. Actually I was in Galway for several weeks and now that you mention it, I believe it was in Galway that I found out that my best friend little sister’s cousin was dating that guy from Michigan and I think that’s when they took their trip to Texas. It’s hard to remember because I never actually met either of them. But, Galway…. I think I liked it.

More proof: my best friend calls ME to remind her what happened on her first date with her husband. Was I there? No. But I remember, as if I was, what they ate, talked about, what time they left and how he forgot his wallet (ahh, that still makes me smile).

The worst is when a friend has told me about someone and then I meet them for the first time. I’ve creeped out entire parties with my encyclopedic knowledge of people’s past boyfriends, jobs and vacations. “Oh right, did you have fun on your Aspen camping trip three years ago? Didn’t you get rained out and you had to sit in a diner for an hour while it stopped and I think you met some guy from Fairbanks that you dated for a week or so, didn’t you?” People at this point usually think I’m some sort of freaky entertainment or a crazy stalker. Or both.

Now what does all this have to do with anything? I can’t remember. Ha! Ha! No, I do remember. See, I got married a couple of weeks ago and it was highly necessary to create as much space as possible in my brain so I could actually remember the wedding and events as they were happening to me. So that when my grandchildren want to know about my Big Day I sound like I actually attended and didn’t just watch the video. Because my brain was so full of remembering stuff, I forgot I had a blog. And I forgot to update it.

Fortunately, all of that hard remembering work is out of the way so I can use my brain for important things, like where I bookmarked all of the new cool shoe stores I want to share with you.

howfabisthat.com» A Whole Bunch of Excuses

I walked into a coffee shop and there you all were

All right, already! I know I’m a lame-o!

This post is about… I think it’s about… damn, can’t remember