Please note: This happened exactly as recorded except for the places where it was necessary to modify the dialogue because 1. I couldn’t remember exactly what we said, 2. I wanted to pretend that LB reads this, and 3. I wanted to show myself in the best possible light. Other than that, a verbatim transcript follows.
LB: If you could only eat one of the following foods for the rest of your life, keeping in mind you will never again be able to eat the other ones, which would you choose? Volcanic Beef, Amici’s pizza, Indian or pork cracklin.
Me: Oh my God. WHY do you do this to me? I don’t know I have to think. Only one! This is so hard. Okay, I know I’m not going to choose Indian or pork cracklin.
LB: You’re not picking pork cracklin? But didn’t you just write a whole post on how much you love pork cracklin? I know that because I read your blog every single day. It’s the highlight of my day, I mean, life.
Me: I just think I’ll get sick of too much pork cracklin, ya know? Once a week for the rest of my life? That’s a lot.
LB: Excellent thinking. I’d just like to point out that one of the things I love best about you is your intelligence. Right behind your beauty and singing voice.
Me: Thanks. Me too. So, now we’re down to Volcanic Beef and Amici’s? I don’t know! I love them both so much! This is soooo hard. Wait, is there a way that I can alternate choices somehow? Like maybe visit one of them, only just on weekends?
LB: Kara. You need to think of this like a marriage. Only to your favorite food. You have to choose the one you like best and that’s it. No visiting. No thinking about it. You are committed.
Me: So, I would never, ever be able to eat the other one? Okay, I think I would totally get sick of Volcanic Beef so I’m choosing the pizza.
LB: Wrong. You love Volcanic Beef more than pizza.
Me: I know! You’re totally right. As soon as I said, I instantly regretted my decision! Volcanic Beef, it is! I am married to Volcanic Beef for the rest of my life.
LB: That is really good we just got that sorted.
2 Comments
Just seems like a clever way for LB to bestow himself with the new nickname “Volcanic Beef”. Just sayin’
That is AMAZING. I am so changing his nickname to Volcanic Beef.