It’s like I’m learning to walk all over again except this time with self-indulgent commentary

Today I have been uploading cards all day to my new How Fab website and while you’re most likely thinking, “Big whoop,” I have to tell you it is very big whoop. Very Big Whoop indeed.

For the past two years I have needed a new website.  My old one sort of worked and you could kind of buy cards (excellent for a shopping site, wouldn’t you say?) but it was always breaking and not loading and basically prevented me from selling my cards with any kind of regularity.  So, I hired this AWESOME web guy, whom I absolutely adore, who emails me back and everything (I know! Imagine that!) and he has the template up so – in theory – my site should be just about done.  Except that right now I’m averaging one card upload a week. At this rate by the time it’s done, my cards will be collector items because paper won’t exist anymore.

And dumbest part about all of this?  This is the first time I’ve ever had the space to dedicate time to my writing and cards.  In the past, I’ve been working a fairly full-time freelance copywriting schedule and tried to shove my cards and writing in around it.  But, with the move out here (and LB’s support – the guy really does rock), we decided it’s time to get it all up and running.  And then I stopped doing…anything. What the hell?!?

I know there is this (smaller now) part of me that believes that work = hard, not fun and lots of crying.  That the place where I’m most comfortable with work is when I have panic in my stomach and tension in my shoulders.  But a growing part of me understands that THIS IS WRONG.  That if I can just (finally, Kara, finally) put my cards and writing and creative ideas out there and let go and have fun, it will all work out in the same way so many other things (love life, weight, friends, family) did once I gave up worrying and started enjoying.  It’s like there is a big neon sign flashing “Hey lady!  Remember these hard-won lessons? You don’t have to relive them AGAIN!” and I can’t see it because I’m looking around for the exit to CrazyTown (actually, that would be a really huge neon sign and I have to say there is a pretty good chance I would notice it but you get the idea).

But I’m changing that – I uploaded cards today.  And tomorrow I’m going to write descriptions for them. And the day after that maybe I’ll make up some new ones and…well, you get the idea – you probably don’t need my full to-do list.  It’s a very small step down what feels like the right road.

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