This is bad. I mean really, really bad.
So here’s the deal. Mother’s Cookies has gone out of business – you know the company that makes those delicious iced oatmeal cookies and the variety bags, and most importantly, circus animal cookies. I’m sure you’re thinking, “Big whoop, who eats those cookies anyways?” I’ll let you take a wild guess.
So, I have been a wee bit frantic. Or crazy. Take your pick. My sister, Jessica, found out that King Soopers bought all of Mother’s stock so I have been running around like a mad woman to all their stores and buying them out.
Now before you judge too harshly, let me explain. I LOVE circus animal cookies. Every Christmas my mom gives me a bag of them (we are CrAzY at the Kull household) and I parcel them out for the next month so that they don’t go too quickly (and I get too, too fat). They are this delicate balance of sugar with a tad bit more sugar with little colorful drops of sugar. Heaven.
And now this is it. For the rest of my life, I will only get to eat as many circus animals as I can accumulate in the next month or so. So if I’m 100 years old and sitting there, thinking about circus animals, I’d better hope that I planned ahead. Hence, the daily trips to King Soopers around the state. (Slight aside: It’s so bad that I actually pondered whether or not I should post this because of fear of competition for the last, remaining bags.)
But, surprisingly, all of this isn’t the real problem. The real problem is that I can’t stop eating them and they are turning me into an elephant (mmm…elephants…coated in pink and white sugar and sprinkles…I’ll be right back…) I haven’t had them around for a reason – because I have no self-control around them. So now I’m stuck in this vicious cycle where I eat them and then panic because I’ve reduced my stock so I need to go and buy more and then I have more around and…
a small sampling...
The best Christmas present you could give me this year, dear reader, is a grocery shelf free from circus animals. Or a cookie manufacturer that is willing to add them to their rotation. Or a crate full of bags of them that I can roll around in. Either or.
Speaking of presents, watch out! All next week, I’ll be posting “Fabulous Gift Ideas That Will Make Them Love You Even More” or basically, gift ideas.
One Comment
Ok, this seems like more than a coincidence that you are getting married in less than four months and your favorite childhood cookies are ceasing to exist.